Goodbye.

Well, it's here. The day I've been dreading for 4 months. The day I leave Russia. We had Spectacle today where the kids put on a performance in front of their parents. My Basic Reading class was dressed up as elves, the cutest elves I have ever seen. They had little red Santa hats and green scarves. When I first saw them, they all swarmed me, hugging me and kissing my face. While in the middle of that huge group hug I realized, I will never get this again. I will never be surrounded by the love of these perfect souls ever again. I hugged them back as tightly as I could and went to sit by them. Vanya wouldn't get off of my lap and Matvey and Ella sat on either side of me. They kept looking up at me, smiling and snuggling into my side. I had the hardest time keeping it together. We sat there for a little while and then I had to go upstairs to find where I would stand during Spectacle. (The Russians pronounce it Specktackle, so now we do.) I found my place and waited for my kids to come upstairs. It still hadn't really hit me that soon I would leave and never see them again. I was trying really hard not to let that thought come into my mind. Eventually, my kids made it upstairs. I know they were coming 2 minutes before they walked in the door because I heard them tromping down the halls. They're such spastics, I love them for it. They walked in and found their spots along with Katie, Jess, and Andrew's kids. Their part is very last, so they were sitting there, very patiently waiting for their turn. Danya kept turning around and with his huge eyes, asking me what his line was. And Vanya kept reaching around to give me a hug and proudly, point me out to his Mom. We waited through all of the little kids' lines and then it was our turn. They said their lines perfectly, even though the other kids were restless and a little loud, and my babies sat down. We sang our last song and that was it. With that last note, my time as an ILP teacher was over. Time kind of froze in that moment and my earlier feelings came rushing back to me. It's over, this is the last time I will ever see these kids. A Russian teacher said a couple words, gave us some presents, and dismissed us. The kids ran off in opposite directions, finding their parents, heading to the food, and in Seva's case, just being a spastic and running in a circle. I stood there, a little in shock, and looking a lot like I had just been punched in the face. I held my presents when Ella came up to me and gave me a hug. Her sweet face broke me. I started to bawl and I couldn't stop it. She looked up at my face, a little confused and gave me another hug. I told her I loved her and she ran away to find her Mom. Then Vlad came up to me with his camera in hand and took a picture of us, arm out style. I'm pretty sure his parents are going to love the picture of me really close up and crying, but I hope he treasures it as I treasure pictures of him. Then Vlad handed me a present, a little ornament that I had seen him carrying around all during Spectacle. He gave me a hug and then left. After a couple more of my kids came, gave me hugs, and said their goodbye's, Ella came back to me with her Mom in tow. Her Mom said to me in broken English, "Ella didn't know you were going to America. She was crying in the corner." I looked down at Ella's red rimmed eyes and lost it again. I hugged her and hugged her. I love that girl. I held her at arms length and said, "I love you Ella." She looked back to me and said, "I love you Miss Courtney." That's a moment I will never forget. She left after another long hug.  I said goodbye to a couple more of my kids, but some I never got to say goodbye to. They just disappeared, but I hope they know how much I love them. How much I will always love them. Just as I thought that it was the end of goodbye's, Matvey came up to me. He looked up at me with a not too happy look on his face. I asked him, "Matvey, why are you sad?" He beckoned me down and said, "Teacher Courtney, no bye bye." Then he stomped off and hid in the corner. I followed after him and coaxed him out of his fetal position. I opened my arms for a hug and said, "Matvey, I love you so  much." He returned my hug reluctantly, kissed my cheek, then he stomped off. He's such a girl sometimes, but I love him for it.
This experience has been everything I could have asked for. It has taught me patience, independence, to have a peace of mind, to love travel more then I did, what friendship really means, and above all else, it has taught me to love. To love so much and so greatly, I feel like I've left part of my soul with those kids. St. Petersburg Basic Reading Fall 2012 is my horcrux. I will always look back on this experience with so many fond memories.
So to answer a question to my September 5th, 2012 self; Yes. It will be worth it. You will fall in love with your kids. And it will change you forever. Don't get discouraged because this will change your life. It will teach you things you never thought you needed to learn. Enjoy every moment because every moment with these kids is precious. And eat as many hazelnut snickers as you can because they don't sell them in the states.
And Goodbye Russia, you treated me very well. Even if you smell like fart, I still loved every minute I spent with you. Let the next adventure begin :)

Estonia.

Estonia was beautiful! Really, REALLY cold, but beautiful. My camera was dying that day so I didn't get as many pictures as I would have liked. We went on a cool tour with a very energetic tour guide of Tallin, walked around a lot, got a little lost, ate some really good food, and then we went home. So, it was a pretty good day, minus the cold.

Here's Katie, notice how frigid she looks. 

Their freedom monument.

The Town Square

A nice frigid Christmas elf next to a tower. 

Hey yo. 

We met Leif Erikkson! My question is what was he doing in Estonia? This dude was pretty lost. 

Tallin!

Katya and I being fly.

All right, well, see ya later!

I biffed it.

Can you believe I only have 2 weeks left? Where did the time go? I feel like it was yesterday that I first walked from my apartment to the Metro and thought, "Wow. I'm in Russia! This is unreal." Now that walk is like blinking, I'm so used to it and don't even think about it anymore. I just do it. There's a lot of things about Russia I'm really going to miss. Like my kids. Thinking about not being able to see my kids every week breaks my heart. Every single one of them has stolen a place in my heart. Especially Matvey, oh I love that kid. Every time I see him, he'll run up to me, hug me, and pull me down to whisper, "Teacher Courtney, Igra Angry Birds?" Which means, Can I play Angry Birds? The kid is obsessed. And I can't resist, so after class, I let him play for a little while.

Look at him. This is a kid who does not take Angry Birds lightly.

I'm really going to miss the feeling of adventure here too. I love being somewhere that's so new and exciting that I can get off at any random Metro stop and be somewhere I have no idea about. Somewhere I've never been and probably will never be again. It's the best. I really am going to miss it here, but I can't wait to be home too. I've missed my awesome family. And sunny St. George. And my friends.
Oh! And here's a funny story. So last Thursday, it had just barely snowed the night before so the roads and sidewalks were really slick. We were trying our hardest not to fall, but that didn't work out. Marci and I fell flat on our face (me) and back (Marci) on the walk to my school. We both have the same boots, which we assumed would help us out. Nope, not at all. They made it worse. Well, on the way back from the school, we were being extra careful with our steps and tried walking really slow. We thought we had made it out of the danger zone when we got to the Metro. We were walking up the stairs to go inside the Metro and I thought, "YES! We made it without falling."  Oh, how wrong I was to think that. I took two steps up the stairs, slipped off the step, and fell right on my knee. It hurt so bad. The force of the fall made it so my hat fell down across my eyes and in my haste to get up and not look like a total fool, I just left it. So there I was, sprawled across the stairs, my hat covering my eyes, and trying my hardest not to cry about my knee. Marci and Megan could not stop laughing at me. Not my best moment. We got inside the Metro and one of the security guards came up to me and started talking to me in Russian. I caught a few words I understood and from his hand gestures, I could tell that he was saying that the reason I fell was because my pants were ripping in the back. I thanked him and tried to get over the fact that another person had watched me looking like a complete idiot. Also, keep in mind that this is what I looked like that day.

Yeah, I got a lot of dates that day. You believe me, right? Yeah... Me neither. 

All right, Welp, See ya later! 

Fiiiiiiiinland!

(say that title in Patrick Star's voice) So, Finland was a bit of a blur. Mostly because Marci, Syd, and I were sick. We only had about 5 hours in Helsinki, so we walked around for a little while, ran into some missionaries, ate some lunch, saw a cool cathedral and called it a half a day. 

The travelers.Ty, Marci, and Syd. We were ready to chuck our backpacks into the water at this point.

I'm not sure what this building is, but it sure is beautiful!

The Uspenski Cathedral.

A look at Helsinki. 

Inside the Uspenski Cathedral.

Next is... Estonia!

Thankful.

I'm a little late with this post but at least I'm doing it! That's a lot coming from me. :) This Thanksgiving was my first away from home. It was really weird. It didn't feel like Thanksgiving at all. We all chipped in and made something Thanksgivingy to eat for dinner after we had parent teacher conferences that day. We had stuffing (Stove top, of course. Thank goodness for Marci), mashed potatoes, rolls, jello, pie, and juice. No turkey :( sad, right? We had no idea where we'd find a turkey and the only meat I could really find at the store was weird salami stuff. Also it feels kind of like you're cheating on Thanksgiving if you have anything but turkey, so we just passed on the meat. We had a moment where we all said something we were thankful for. I only said one thing then but I'll just list all the things I'm thankful for now :)

1. My Family. 

There is nothing more important to me then my wonderful family. I have been so blessed with the family I was given. They're supportive, loving, and hilarious. My Dad is the funniest person I know. Whenever I Skype with him, my roommates all listen and laugh at all the things he says. He is also very wise. He gives the perfect advice and always says what I need to hear. Plus, he has the most amazing singing voice. I could listen to it all day. I have a recording of my Dad singing Belleau Wood by Garth Brooks on my phone that I listen to all of the time. It's been so comforting to me on hard days. My Mom is my best friend. We've Facetimed a lot while I've been here and I love just chatting with her. And making funny faces at her. Plus, she's the classiest lady I know. She's definitely my role model. Janglin, I love me some Janglin. I think being away had made me appreciate my sister so much more. She's amazing. She's going to BYU, has crazy awesome style, and has swaggy up the wazoo. :) I can't wait until I get home and get to sit in her room and just talk. I've missed being able to talk to her whenever and laugh over the millions of movie quotes we have stuck in our heads. "She made me a present! I AM AN A HOLE!" :) BROTHER. I've missed Cam a lot more then I thought I would. He's such a good kid. He's a great example to me to be a good person. I've gotten a lot of life advice from him even when he was just talking, not meaning to give advice. He's a person I look up to, literally and figuratively, the kid is taller then me... Speaking of that. Meg posted a picture of Jonny, he's taller then her! Say it isn't so! My baby can't be growing up. Poor Jonny, he'll never stop being the baby. I know he loves it deep down, very deep down :) Jonny is such a good kid. He and some friends made this group called We Are Hungry because he didn't like that they were serving so little of food at lunch at school. Pretty cool, right? He's pretty bad a. Even if he is kind of brat sometimes, I love him a lot. I really did luck out with my family. I love them so much.

2. Life.

I'm so thankful that with the life I was given, I've done things that I am proud of. When I'm an old woman and people, family, friends, whatever ask me about my life,  I'll be able to answer, "I lived my life to the fullest. I really did." 

3. Travel.

I'm so thankful I am and was able to travel to such beautiful, amazing places. There's been moments that I'm standing in a place I just set my eyes on and I've wished that my eyes could drink. So I could literally drink in the beautiful sites around me and never forget exactly how they look. The moment when you first stumble upon something you've waited your whole life to see should be bottled. It's a beautiful feeling. 

4. Friends.

I've been blessed with some truly wonderful friends. Some I've met on this trip, some I've had for years and all of them have had a profound effect on my life. Always having to move around has made it so I've acquired such an awesome collection of friends. I'm a very lucky girl.

5. Technology.
With technology being the way it is, it's so easy for me to just call up my Mom or sister or Dad or best friend on Skype or Facetime and just chat for a while. Plus I think I would go crazy if I didn't get to see Josh's crazy hairdos or hear my Dad's Fwwwhat? for 4 months. Thank goodness for technology.

6. Music.
In the past, I've never really been such a huge fan of music. I loved the way silence was, how in that silence, I could imagine something in my mind without any distractions. I could go away to my happy place and not worry about anything. It was just me and my thoughts. I'm kind of in my happy place being here though, so I've come to appreciate music so much more. It makes that silence a lot warmer. Plus, when you're listening to the part in The Dark Knight Rises when he climbs out of the pit , it just makes everything you do seem so much cooler.

I've had a very good life and I'm so thankful for everything and everyone in it. :)
All right, well, see ya later!

Schweeeeeeeden!

Our next stop was Stockholm, Sweden. It was amazing! It felt a lot like London. Very posh and with the times. Everywhere we went felt very swanky. It was really cold too because it's on the water. A downside about Sweden was it was SO expensive. We had a 120$ cab ride. Ouch. But it was a beautiful city. I want to go back someday! I probably will because Syd is dead set on living there, so I'll just head over and visit her. 

My first steps on Swedish soil! ... actually pavement. 

My comrades. They know how to make the windblown look look great :) 

Stockholm, at night!

Old town Stockholm.

So beautiful.

I loved this. We found it on a bench in front of a shop in Old Town.

 Teacher Jessica, Katya, and Ty. 

Ty, Katie, and I.

Jess is a great impersonator of naked athletes. 

A cool science museum, I think.

The Vasa! This was such a cool museum. This ship sunk in the 1700's on it's maiden voyage. So everything was really new inside it. In the 1960's, they decided to resurface the ship. This museum had the ship in it and most of the artifacts they found inside. 

Katie and I manning a cannon.

Katie, Jess and I in a wonky mirror.

Katie was mimicking a man working in the fields. She's a wonder. 

Next we have, FINLAND.

Lithuania.

Our next stop was in Vilnius, Lithuania! It was such a beautiful place. It rained the whole time we were there, which stunk, but we still loved all the sights and such. 

See those bags Marci and Syd have on? We wanted to die with those on our backs. I'm pretty sure I will have back problems for the rest of my life because of carrying my bag for a week. 

The Orthodox church in Vilnius! 

Marci's face kills me in this.

We're nice.

Sydney is straight up raunchy. 

The Hill of Three Crosses.

Gediminas' Tower. This tower is at the top of a hill, and you can see all of Vilnius from the top. While we were trekking up the hill, the crows wouldn't shut up and it was all dark and gloomy, we felt like we were going to Shutter Island. And would never come back... But the view made the mini heart attack at the beginning all worth it.

The view!

The View!

St. Anne's Church! This was my favorite building we saw in Vilnius. 

St. Anne's. 

Next up is... Sweden!